Dwight Davis   August 1970

Shamming and

Getting Ready To Go Home

 Dwight NCOC

 Sometime during this time period I sent my folks a notice regarding my return home.  Somebody duplicated a bunch of these and distributed them to the troops.   It is humorous.  It said the following:

“ISSUED THIS SOLEMN WARNING, THIS 8TH DAY OF AUGUST, 1970 TO THE FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS AND RELATIVES OF:  Dwight F. Davis

1. Very soon the above will once again be in your midst, de- Americanized, demoralized and dehydrated; ready once again to take his place as a human being with freedom and justice, engage in life, and somewhat delayed pursuit of happiness.

2. In making your joyous preparations to welcome him back into  respectable society, you must make allowances for the crude evironment in which he has suffered for the past twelve months.  In a small word, he may be somewhat ASIATIC, somewhat  suffering from stages of VIETNAMITIS, and of commonly called LACKA-BOOM-BOOM (sex).

3. Therefore, have no alarm if he prefers to squat rather than sit on a chair, pad around in thong sandals and towel, slyly offers to sell cigarettes to the postman, and picks his food suspiciously, as if it    were poisoned.  Don’t be surprised if he answers all questions with         such statements as “NUMBER ONE ( very good)” (or ten -- very  bad), NO CAN DO (I can’t do that), SAME-SAME (same as), DIDI-MAU (leave quickly), XIN LOI (sorry about that), DINKY DOW (crazy), or similar expressions, or speaks in abbreviated or   incomplete sentences.  Be tolerant when he tries to buy everything at less than half-price, accuses the grocer of being a thief, and refuses to enter an establishment that doesn’t have mesh screens over the door and windows.  He may also complain of sleeping in a    room and refuses to go to bed without a mosquito net.

4.  Make no flattering remarks of the exotic South East Asia, avoid mentioning the benefits of overseas duty, seasonal weather, and             above all ask before mentioning food delicacies of the East such as FLIED RICE (fried rice).  The more references to these particular   subjects may trigger an awesome display of temper and violence.

5.  Any of the following sights should be avoided since they can produce an advanced stage of shock; people dancing, television, and ROUND EYED WOMEN.  In relatively short time his profanity will decrease enough to permit him to associate with mixed company, and soon he will be speaking English as well as he ever was.

6.  For the first few months (until he is housebroken) be especially watchful when he is in the presence of women, particularly young          women, pretty specimens of   femininity.  The few American “girls” he may have seen since arriving overseas were either   (plain-Jane) Doughnut Dollies (the affectionate name for Red Cross girls) or WACS (who consistently seem to remind you of your old maiden aunt).  Therefore, his first reaction upon meeting an attractive ROUND-EYE may be to stare blankly and drool proficiently at the mouth.  You are advised to take advantage of his momentary shock and MOVE THE YOUNG LADY OUT OF  HIS REACH!!!

7.  Keep in mind that beneath this tanned and rugged exterior, there beats the heart of pure gold.  Treasure this fact, for it is the only     thing of value he has left.  Treat him with sympathy, kindness, tolerance and an occasional fifth of good whiskey and you will be able to rehabilitate this hollow shell of the man you used to know.

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM SENDING ANY MORE MAIL OR PACKAGES TO HIS PRESENT ADDRESS AFTER August 24, 1970 FOR HE IS LEAVING FOR THE WORLD IN 29 DAYS 8 HOURS AND 10 MINUTES.

FUTURE MAILING ADDRESS WILL BE

1955 Woodcrest Drive

Winter Park, Florida 32792

LZ HOME

Suggest that you fill the ice box with beer, stock the bar, fill the car with gas, turn on the radio, T.V. and  stereo, take the phone off the hook, roll back the carpet, put out the cat and open the door because:

THE KID IS COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Four Sergeants Having A Beer In Base Camp

 Sgt. Stone, Sgt. Kehlenback, Dwight, and Sgt. Jones have a beer in base camp

 

From the firebase I was sent to our forward trains area to see the medics there so they could look at my knee.  I checked in with them and actually stayed with them for several days.  This was the life.  I had no responsibilities and, because I was with the medics, I was not called on for the various administrative duties which faced guys in the rear.  I went to movies, drank beer, read a book or two and generally relaxed.  I was a very happy camper.  In appreciation I gave one of the young medics my hunting knife that my folks had sent me.  A small part of the point had broken off when I used it to pry open a case of C-Rats; however, it was otherwise in good shape and had a good edge.  The young medic thought it was really neat.  

Before I could be called back to duty in the boonies, my company was sent to the forward trains area where I was.  From there they were convoyed back to Camp Radcliff and I went with them.  It was toward the end of August, 1970.  I happened to get into a deuce and half with all FNGs.  We all had on flack jackets and as an extra precaution; I put a flack jacket over my legs.  I sat in the middle of the truck bed.  This trip involved going through the An Khe Pass which, as noted earlier, was hairy.  As we moved out the FNGs looked at me, I suppose because I looked seasoned and worn while their fatigues were still relatively clean.  I informed them that the bad guys would be coming from outside the truck and that is where they should look, not at me. 

When we arrived back in division base camp, I had only about a week to go before my ETS (Estimated Time of Separation) or DEROS (Date Estimated for Return From Overseas).  In other words, I was SHORT to the max.  As a consequence, I was relieved of any duties for the company, although I stayed in the company area.  I was expected to out-process which took at least a couple of days to go through the bureaucratic nonsense involved.  During this time, for example, I had to go to some authority to get a paper which allowed me to take my Chicom 53 rifle back to the states as a war souvenir.  It was during this week or so that I became obnoxious about being short.  I had told myself I would not do that after experiencing it when I first arrived in country; however, there is some compulsion involved, which you cannot deny.